Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday, bloody Sunday

What is it about Sunday evening?  Why are they so depressing?  When John and I were dating, I still had that extra semester at Purdue and he was working at the Zenith credit union and going to law school.  I would go up for the weekend - taking whoever I could carry from the ride board at Purdue to the northwest suburbs of Chicago.  I would stay with John and his folks until Monday morning because I didn't have a class until Monday afternoon.  I don't know why I stayed Sunday night because all I did was cry.  Seriously.  It was awful.  And John, bless his heart, for whatever reason, understood.

So for my kids and whoever else is out there, I get Sunday nights, but I will never understand it. Whether it's bracing yourself for a new week or something deeper than that, I feel your pain.

The anticipation is always worse than the thing itself.

But I can guarantee, it will be better - eventually.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sunset Gap

This plea went out from our church about Sunset Gap - a place in Tennessee that is near and dear to our collective hearts.  Our adults and youth group go there once a year for work trips, and our church supports them financially throughout the year.  Please help, if you can. Check them out -
They have done some AMAZING things for that community.

Today, Chris Ayers received a call from Josh Dunn, the executive director of
Sunset Gap in Cosby Tennessee.  The Sunset Gap board of directors has called
an emergency meeting for this Saturday, October 23, to decide if they can
keep the ministry going.  Because donations have decreased considerably,
they are basically out of money and can no longer meet their expenses.

Sunset Gap continues to be a blessing to many of us at RLC.  Lives have been
changed for adults and students on our many servant trips.  This doesn't
begin to measure the importance of the Gap's ministry to the Cosby area.  We
can't imagine what a loss this would be for them.  

If you would be like to make a donation to Sunset Gap to help keep this
ministry alive, please make a check payable to the Sunset Gap Community

Monday, October 18, 2010

I'm antsy

I can't sit still these days.  Maybe it's the change of seasons.  I would appreciate autumn A LOT more if winter didn't follow it.  Not a fan of the winter.  But I love the October transition from the grill to the oven, baseball to football (and of course, tailgating), the bonfires, the whole cocooning with hot cocoa thing...

We've been so busy with things lately I haven't had a chance to go for a walk and enjoy the colors of the season.  The last time I sat in the backyard with a fire was a few weekends ago with Hannah and her friends.  I want the world to basically stop for 24 hours so I can go for a walk, look at the trees in full autumn color and be a peace with the ice and snow that are about to descend on us.

Maybe it has to do with being by myself too.  John is out of town, Jim and Hannah are at school.  (For anyone reading this who wants to break into our house, please remember our two blood-thirsty pugs who will rip your liver out the minute you hit our fur-dust-bunny covered floor and our retired, very nosey neighbors who have 9-1-1 already programed into their attached to the wall, corded phone.)  I don't know.  I'm just not comfortable in my own skin these days.  Weird place to be.

But I am at peace with my God, as they say.  I am at peace with my family, as far as I know.  Everything else is up for grabs.  I'm leaving myself open to opportunities, whatever that means.  I have faith that I am where He wants me to be - I just can't see why, and therein lies the struggle.

I have seen God work what I consider miracles.  Who wouldn't trust what could do that?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I seem to be struggling with so much lately...  everyone who knows us would think I would be pinning over the fact that we are now empty nesters.  But 1) The Girl has been home so much it hardly seems like she's gone and 2) there is so much other BS going on, I hardly have time to notice.

I work for a commodities brokerage firm.  If you didn't notice - and why should you??!! - corn, beans and sometimes wheat were up the limit last Friday.  That basically made life hell for us people in the trenches that have to sort everything out.  The markets have been up every day since then, which means our lives are still hell.

Don't get me wrong - I love talking to our customers.  They are so unique, they can't be described.  But there is the one who cracks me up every single time he calls (he is so slow, you'd think he was going backwards); the one who is in such a hurry I would hate to see him drive a car; the one who gives me the same order in the same way every singe time; the one who starts his order with, "hey, in our *** account, sell me...."; the one who says, "this is ____ from _____.  I want to sell some stuff;" the one who never knows what he wants to do before he calls, and the one who loves giving market orders JUST before the close at 1:15.  I love them all, I really do.  It's all the other BS that goes along with the job that is either going to make me postal or catatonic.  I haven't yet determined which way it's going.

And there are all the office politics.  Picture yourself in a bullpin of 40+ people...  with A LOT of "extreme personalities."  Sometimes, it's not a pretty thing.  Why, I think a sitcom is in this somewhere.  If they have "Outsourced"  they can have "Futures." Seriously.  I'm calling Chuck Lorre.

Whatever.  I will keep the faith and keep on going on.  Because that's what I'm supposed to do.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Things I've learned

1) Life is boring.  Life is not a movie.  99% of things that happen are not nearly as "deep" as they are portrayed.  Drama in movies = good.  Drama in real life = bad.
2) The man/woman you fall in love with will disappoint you.  He leaves the seat up, she leaves a mess in the bathroom, they snore, and have bad breath in the morning like everyone else.  It can never be one long love scene.  Get over it and love them anyway.
3) If you think everyone is thinking about you, they are not.  People are too wrapped up in their own crap to care what your hair looks like today.
4) Happiness is in the little things.
5) You were put on this earth to be nice to people, be respectful, and treat people the way you want to be treated.  How someone reacts to you being that way is beyond your control and not your problem.
6) Pray.  A lot.
7) The things you think are so important now, won't be in 6 months.
8) Show love and concern where and when you can.  You will never, ever regret that.  And if you do - see #5.
9) Get out of other people's heads.  You don't belong there.  You have no clue of their past experiences, their true beliefs, their wants and needs.  So do not pretend to know "where they are coming from."
10)  Listen.  You learn a lot by doing so.

PS - Never, never, EVER text and drive.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Post Haiti

I haven't written anything since Haiti, maybe because I'm still sorting out my feelings about the whole experience.  I just watched Hinjio's video again, and I truly miss that place.   There are sick people everywhere, illnesses that can't be fixed, ideals and perceptions that will never change, and yet I'm drawn back to it.  I think it is the stamina of the people there.  They don't appreciate their tenacity because that is all they know.

While you are there, you're not concerned about the dent in your fender, that your wireless doesn't work and your house isn't quite keeping up with the Jones's.  You're thinking about providing something valuable for people that literally have nothing.  Who cares if you can't sleep at night because it's so hot - I can go home and not walk for 3 days to get basic health care.  I am blessed.

I've always felt like I never amounted to much.  I have a degree from Purdue, and I was on the right cooperate  track before having kids...  but since then, I've "meandered."  (If Wildwood wouldn't have been such a colossal failure, I guess that would have been my after-kids-career.)  But as I quickly approach the age of 50, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.  I'll keep plugging away, with the thought in the back of my mind, that maybe this whole FOTOCH thing was in the works all the time.  God has has a huge sense of humor.  I know in my heart John and I were never meant to be couch-potato seniors.  Maybe this is our calling.  We'll see.