Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Pioneer Woman, I am Not

So there is this awesome woman who has this incredible web site -  Nobody can match her.  If you go to her web site and just sit for a moment in her awesomeness, it will make you feel wonderful and completely inept at the same time.  She is the perfect wife and mother and her cookies look like they are straight from the pages of a cookbook.  Mine, well, not so much.  Her gingerbread men are not modeled after Derrick Rose (star of the Chicago Bulls) and Brian Urlacher (of the Chicago Bears, DUH!), or after being bagged for a week, have been broken to the point where they have to be iced with  "OH MY GOSH!" faces on them, looking at their missing extremities.  In the midst of icing the gingerbread cookies, John made me a Bailey's chocolate martini, and it got even weirder.  Gingerbread women in bikinis and men in Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses.  Then, I exclaimed that "My bag broke!!" meaning the bag I was using to ice said cookies had burst.  But John, watching football in the next room yelled, "The last time you said that, we came home with Jim 2 days later!" 
 Funny.  Really.
So here are my not-good photos of my butter and gingerbread fiascos, and the train wreck of a kitchen that followed.  
Merry Christmas!!


  1. Love this post! And love that john was drinking Baileys! It makes mine and moms wrapping extravaganza feel less stupid, somehow! Miss you guys! Merry Christmas, bitches!

  2. Gee, thanks! Love you too, bee-atch!

  3. I love how the broken gingies have their "angry" eyes on. Hilarious!

  4. They are not angry - they are frightened at their newly discovered missing limb! There is a subtle difference, you know!