Wednesday, December 15, 2010

the kids are alright

My kids are both home from college for the holidays as of this afternoon.

I am OK with being an empty nester, I really am.  I hate that John is gone so much with work, but Lily and Caz keep me pretty occupied.  I'm just surprised at the calmness I feel now that the kids are home.

I wasn't worried about Jim driving home.  It's a long trip, but he's a very good driver.  He apparently hit a falcon on the way home that swooped down out of nowhere, but Jim is fine.  The falcon - not so much.  We see Hannah quite often because her school is much closer.  I don't know...  it's just a really odd feeling.  It's a warm fuzzy.  I'm at peace.  I guess that doesn't happen enough for me to recognize the feeling.  Or I'm so stressed out about something else that I don't let myself feel it.  Sad, but true.

Maybe it's because I see them as adults now.  They are moving on, building their own lives, and it's all done without me and John.  When they come home, they are my kids again.  I loved them when they were little, but to see what they are developing into as adults is an incredible thing for me.

It will be better when John gets home tomorrow.  Then, it's all good.  Let the holidays begin!

If this is the feeling I get every year, seeing my kids for the holidays or whenever, then it's all good.  I don't care if we celebrate Christmas in July, as long as I get to be with them.  They are pretty darn nice people to be around.  

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