This is my typical pattern lately. I come home from work, have a drink to decompress (I realize this is not a good habit to get into), take care of some stuff that has to do with selling the house/buying the house, fall asleep on the couch, wake up, go to bed, wake up again around 2:00 am and can't get back to sleep. And now my allergies are kicking in.
The stupid stuff that runs through my brain at this hour is a little disturbing. Where can we put a doggie door in the new house for the pugs? How much does a stacked washer/dryer combo cost? How would I look with straight hair? Gotta call the dentist in the morning.
Then there are the deep thoughts - and not the Jack Handy kind. How can I move away from here? 90% of my friends are here. Family is here. My church family is here. Hannah will be here. As much as I gripe about work, I will miss some people there in a big way. My kids grew up here. Bloomington-Normal Illinois makes be crazy (State Farm City) but it's home.
I've been so stressed out with this move I've often felt like a rubber band about to snap. I'm going through so many emotions, I forget what the kids might be going through. Poor Jim has been stuck with me all summer. I honestly don't think I would have made it through this without him.
The worst part is that the kids won't have a "home" to come back to. They will come to St. Louis to visit their parents.
I know this is the right thing to do. John loves his job down there. I will find something I like to do there. At this point, I can step back and see that things have fallen into place quite nicely. But I will grieve the loss of this place and time, and pray that friendships can grow even stronger regardless of proximity.