Wednesday, August 10, 2011

2:53 am

Can't sleep.  

This is my typical pattern lately.  I come home from work, have a drink to decompress (I realize this is not a good habit to get into), take care of some stuff that has to do with selling the house/buying the house, fall asleep on the couch, wake up, go to bed, wake up again around 2:00 am and can't get back to sleep.  And now my allergies are kicking in.

The stupid stuff that runs through my brain at this hour is a little disturbing.  Where can we put a doggie door in the new house for the pugs?  How much does a stacked washer/dryer combo cost?  How would I look with straight hair?  Gotta call the dentist in the morning.

Then there are the deep thoughts - and not the Jack Handy kind.  How can I move away from here?  90% of my friends are here.  Family is here.  My church family is here.  Hannah will be here.  As much as I gripe about work, I will miss some people there in a big way.  My kids grew up here.  Bloomington-Normal Illinois makes be crazy (State Farm City) but it's home.

I've been so stressed out with this move I've often felt like a rubber band about to snap.  I'm going through so many emotions, I forget what the kids might be going through.  Poor Jim has been stuck with me all summer.  I honestly don't think I would have made it through this without him.

The worst part is that the kids won't have a "home" to come back to.  They will come to St. Louis to visit their parents.

I know this is the right thing to do.  John loves his job down there.  I will find something I like to do there.  At this point, I can step back and see that things have fallen into place quite nicely.  But I will grieve the loss of this place and time, and pray that friendships can grow even stronger regardless of proximity.

1 comment:

  1. My dear friend,I will miss you very much. I treasure the times we have spent together. Although we are not blood related I feel that we are family. Thank you for sharing your creativity with me, as well as you faith. I thank God that he brought us together.
    Don't worry about how everything is going to work out. Have faith in God and know that it will work out.
    Though we will be miles apart (and I say this for all of your friends) you will be close in our hearts. Our friendship will not end but be even stronger as time go by.
    So my dear friend, Please wipe the tears from your eyes, take a breath and know you are loved and not alone. Everything will be alright.
    Remember, I am prone to know.